WHoe called me just now...
all the while i thought that he is enjoying himself in UKM...
joining all sorts of activities...
but then he told me just now that he's LOST!
lost since he started to work after STPM...
i can still remember that time..when he 1st told me that he was lost.
i was staying at the dorm with Ping,
one day he called,
and told me that he's lost...
i was shocked...
cause he'll be the last person i would expect to be LOST!
cause he's more mature that those at his age,
been through more than those at his age,
and know more life's philosophy that i do,
so whatever things that i want to say to him,
he already knew that,
so i really have no idea what to say,
so i just kept on motivating him,
to remind him in case he forgotten it,
i cried that time,
i can still remember i said to him
"if you dont love yourself, then who else going to love you? your parents? me? then izzit fair for us?"
then today still the same topic...
just different location
he cried, i didn't
he said he dont want to stay there want to apply to come to USM,
i told him not to,
i seldom do that, whenever someone tell me they want to do somethig as long as i dont think that its gonna hurt anyone, i'll just say go for it, do what you like.
but to him this time is a big NO,
i dont want him to give up whenever he feels things are not like what he expects,
coursemates there are not like his ex-classmates or schoolmates, teaching n learning methods are different.
in short - he is not happy.
i want him despite all the things (obstacles), he'll also make himself clear about his goal, plan and work towards it. Not give up.
if not no matter where he goes also is going to be the same and worse when he starts to work.
he kept on saying 'Dunno'....
but he knows everything just that he cant take any action...
i can undertstand his feelings, we do lost ourself sometimes but i really dun understand why he cant stand up again and find his way out.
how can i help him?i really dont want to see him like that.
but i really dunno wat to do and wat to tell him,
so i told him that only he can help himself, to find the way out, but i hope that i can help by providing light in the darkness, so that he can find the way.
i wish i know how.