WHoe called me just now... all the while i thought that he is enjoying himself in UKM... joining all sorts of activities... but then he told me just now that he's LOST! lost since he started to work after STPM...
i can still remember that time..when he 1st told me that he was lost. i was staying at the dorm with Ping, one day he called, and told me that he's lost... i was shocked... cause he'll be the last person i would expect to be LOST! cause he's more mature that those at his age, been through more than those at his age, and know more life's philosophy that i do, so whatever things that i want to say to him, he already knew that, so i really have no idea what to say,
so i just kept on motivating him, to remind him in case he forgotten it, i cried that time, i can still remember i said to him "if you dont love yourself, then who else going to love you? your parents? me? then izzit fair for us?"
then today still the same topic... just different location he cried, i didn't he said he dont want to stay there want to apply to come to USM, i told him not to, i seldom do that, whenever someone tell me they want to do somethig as long as i dont think that its gonna hurt anyone, i'll just say go for it, do what you like.
but to him this time is a big NO, i dont want him to give up whenever he feels things are not like what he expects, coursemates there are not like his ex-classmates or schoolmates, teaching n learning methods are different. in short - he is not happy.
i want him despite all the things (obstacles), he'll also make himself clear about his goal, plan and work towards it. Not give up.
if not no matter where he goes also is going to be the same and worse when he starts to work.
he kept on saying 'Dunno'.... but he knows everything just that he cant take any action... i can undertstand his feelings, we do lost ourself sometimes but i really dun understand why he cant stand up again and find his way out.
how can i help him?i really dont want to see him like that.
but i really dunno wat to do and wat to tell him, so i told him that only he can help himself, to find the way out, but i hope that i can help by providing light in the darkness, so that he can find the way.
went to dinner and movie at Gurney with Ban and Wern just now.... we watched Bangkok Dangerous.... cause we really cant find any better movie to watch and it was the best selling movie...
Nicholas Cage looks kinda old to me... so i didn't expect that the movie is going to be a good one... as well as Ban n Wern...
but that Thai guy sure looks cute...
Nicholas Cage - an assassin Thai guy - his messenger but became his student Yang Cai Nee(HK actress) - a mute, very beautiful pharmacist, dated Nic
its kinda funny on certain parts...
not much of actions...
not that bloody.... the most were like the hand chopped off and the body was blasted into half... (not irritating at all..no intestines showing out)
no climax.... a bit dragging...
so basically its a story about an assassin who was assigned 4 jobs in Bangkok... then the Thai guy was his messenger who will take things(target's pics, cash and weapons.whatever he needs)..from the Big Shot ( the 'tailou')....to him...
then the story begins...blablabla...like normal movie....
and also by following the norms....
IF the hero is a superhero or act legally THEN the he will save the world and live happily ever after with the heroine OR
the hero will kept on his task to save the world but he have to live alone cause he dont want to endanger the heroine's life.... (guduyisheng)..tats what makes him cool also
ELSE
IF the hero is a criminal ( in this case, an assassin)
THEN the hero will die! Because if he goes on living then this will let people think that the criminals can live freely after breaking the law, will make ppl doubt about the ability of the authority. If he got caught then, he is not that heroic anymore!!
so in the end he shot himself...makes him look more 'man'...if killed by other then will be lame a bit d...
tats all about the movie.
goin out with Wern and Ban is very enjoying also... though the really so catch a lot of attentions by yelling and laughing out loud... (especially when they are playing games in the arcade) but wont feel 'siasui' lo....
really feel like being myself.. can really say whatever i feel like saying.... use the words that i feel like using..... comment on whatever things...... yell together with them...
which i seldom do in front of others... (kenajagaimej =.=')
thanks guys for being there always... we are really { kamlan chi mui }...*in Cantonese please...hahahaha
the only thing that i hate is Ban being sarcastic for the whole night! makes me wanna slap him....
i was craving for the ice blended mocha for 2 days.... but i dun dare to drink it yesterday cause i know i hv a test today and coffee is also my body biggest enemy....
when i drink coffee, my heart beats very fast....feels like out of breath especially at night... and i'll sure go to toilet within 15 mins.....sometimes even faster, before i can finish a cup...
but i just cant resist the ice-blended mocha... the aroma...the smoothness of the ice mocha....together with the cream..argh..betul-betul ada 'umph'.... i'll crave for it...dunno why....but not often..the last time i drank is when i was in Malacca, more than 2 months already....so i guess it is fine....
just now after class... i straight away go to queensbay...just to get a big cup of ice- blended mocha from Coffee Bean... haha....crazy? but i love to do this kinda things.... the ability of me to do things that i want ( especially impulse) makes me feels 'powerful'... like i'm in control of my life.... i hate to follow rules... this cannot, that cannot... sumtimes i'll purposely break rules or to disagree with others, (its a psychology thing) all because i like the feeling of..i'm in control...haha but of course..i wont break big rules...cause i dun take risk... so i never get into 'big' trouble because of my 'habit'...
some will say this is a rebelious action, mostly teenagers will act like that... to gain attention... to me... partially its like that.... haha... perharps most of us ( the only child in our family )... will get all the attention at home, so when we go out, we tend to do things to attract attention from others... ( wern agrees with me on that) i'll try to minimize that....
and like that i spent rm 15.35 for the big cup and rm 1 for parking...and also the fuel...
but the satisfaction...priceless....
*finished it when i reached home...drinking while driving....and it ended with a *burp...
and when i reached home...i rushed to the toilet with the speed of light... and blasted the toilet...
hahahahahaha......i'm very satisfied...
dont know next time what kinda exreme ( impulse) things i'll do....hmmm...
p/s: hate it when my name is spelled wrongly on the cup....huh.. (>.<')
today is a no class day. so as usual i'll have to find food in the house.
i just kicked the fever and the sore throat away, but the flu just love me so much,
so i cant take biscuits nor chocolate drinks or etc, so i decided to cook,
Spaghetti and mushroom soup.
These are all u can expect from a person who don't go to the wet market.
first of course, i didnt take my dinner yesterday so i was damn hungry,
i cooked the easier one 1st,
the mushroom soup, the Campbell's...
very easy, according to the instructions given, we have to pour the soup in 1st then only we add in the water, but if like that your soup is going to be harder to dissolve, so i always do it the other way round, i boil the water first, then only i add in the soup.
and wahla....my soup was ready...
then i again boiled water to cook the spaghetti, while waiting for the water to boil, i drank the soup,
after the water is boiled i add in the spaghetti,
i bought a Maggi Bolognese sauce mix a few weeks ago, but didn't use it that time cause suddenly felt like cooking a Tom Yam souce for the spaghetti, so i use it this time.
after the spaghetti is cooked, rinsed it with cold water, and left it beside. some will add in oil to the boiling water before cooking the spaghetti so that it wont stick together, but i'm using the traditional chinese way, by rinsing it with cold water, the colder the better, not only it wont stick together but also it will be more 'Q'(suddenly forget how to say in in english ;more chewy i guess)
after that i started to cook the sauce ( i only hv one stove so i have to do it one by one ) i add a little bit of oil, fried the minced meat, and prawns ( prepared by my mummy in case we want to use it anytime) then i add in a little bit of water and that sauce mix, like the instructions shown on the packet, just that add a litle bit of garlic when i fried the minced meat and prawns, i love garlic, then i cooked untill it became paste like (dry a little bit) then....
ta da.....
*its ready to be served
i cant really taste it due to the flu, but with my taste buds, i can say the flavour is ok, but i can say it will be better if i can add in some Mozarella cheese, some mushrooms, spice is not needed, not salt cause it was all mixed in, it is a bit salty though, so the ratio of the spaghetti and sauce have to be right. (the one on the pic i added in a little bit more , jst to make it looks nicer, i took out about 2 table spoon before i ate it)
it also had a very strong tomato taste, not spicy at all. worth a try.
the serving size : 3 ( according to my serving size, if you know my serving size!)
saw a lot of frens got sick... warned myself to be careful.. because of the weather and all the tests....
but never though that my immune system lost the war..... i always think that i'm very strong, huh....
got fever, flu and sore throat.... these three are good frens.... they'll come n visit me a few times in the year... and when they come... they come together... hahaha.... they are really true friends... never leave each other behind....
friday exam, finished at about 10pm... not very happy with it... cause i know, i dint do well, bad actually....
i slept at 3 something and woke up at 7am... need to go to work as student service.... a bit sick already that time, sore throat.... then today things got worse... can even wake up on time... was late to work....
after i took the attendance, i went out for breakfast with YY n HL, before we go i went to the clinic first, need to recover fast, so that i can study better for the test and exams, if not i wont even bother to go,
1st stop- Klinik University at Sg.2 closed (written there sunday 9:00-1:00) i really dunno why it is closed.
2nd stop- PoliklinikMawar(if i'm not mistaken) at RST Closed also.
3rd stop- KlinikKesihatan in USM Closed too. (*huh....very very tired..my head felt so heavy...and with the hot sun on top of my head) after work... went to pharmacy near my house. closed.
since all clinics and pharmacy are closed, i went to guardian, sure open right?
what happened was.....
"Sorry, our pharmacist is off duty, we cant give you those controlled drugs."
and the lady there introduce me herbal pills which most customers will buy to cure fever and flu.
i took it,
and as usual,
i'll pick up other things also....
when i got to the counter there...the total printed on the screen was..RM 75... was shocked... ok fine i gv her my credit card...
but the machine cant read both of my cards...
very embarrassing cause i dint bring enough cash also... and the cashier (the shop manager's face turned black)....
so i just took the pills... and called the card centre, i was told that both of my cards are still active.... and i told him i spilled water on my bag and it wet my wallet as well as my cards a few days ago... and he said water ( H2O) wont do anything to my chip...(and he was laughing loud through the phone when i told him, what so funny?)
so so so so 'sui'...
and when i came home....
again...another drama....
just feel like going out... to another place on earth.... to "Wonderland".... where all these things wont happen.....
after i spent the whole day doing 285 assignment... at last i finished it...
then,
i went to the bank to pay my bills... then,
to tesco with ching to get some groceries.... it was drizzling when i reached ching's house...
but it stated to rain cats n dogs when i came out from tesco.. and i din wear jacket or raincoat... cause inside the parking lot...i cant feel the rain.. but as soon as i came out from that parking lot... sha.... got wet... can really feel the big splash towards me... after 2 mins.... even my pantie was wet...(i was riding my cute lovely little scooter)
i dint stop... cos i love rain...
yes.. sound crazy.... but i just like the feeling when rain drops hit my skin...not when i was riding cause very painful.. gentle hits i should say... and the chill... liked being hugged by the nature... really enjoy... hard to describe the feeling with words though... huh...it can make my tears disappear also....
crying in the rain.. let the rain wipes my pain...
*I like Rain...love Rain 4ever...he is so cute....*shout...*yell
When i'm busy with everything coming altogether; exams, assignments, tuitons and classes
time flies
But when i'm in the middle of a boring class, working, answering questions that i totally hv no idea what are those questions asking, and waiting
time crawl even slower than 200 years old turtle which weigh 700 pounds.
*i got nothing but time...
But also when i'm in between, i realise that i keep on looking at the time , my watch, my phone, or a clock, dunno y, just look at it, just feel like want to know the time even though it just past 2 mins the last time i looked at my watch.
weird. i guess a lot of people have this kinda habit too, just that it is to tiny to notice, because everyone is busy.
After joining online survey for so so long at last...after the 4 days forum i joined in June...i gained enough points to redeem the VOUCHERS! i redeemed 10 KFC vouchers which is totally not enough after i share it with my family members.. huh...no fun...i prefer cash... but better than non *ei..? why just 9..haha..caused i used it befor i manage to snap a pic of all of them..LOL
*Got a new haircut from Mintz, fell in love with the hairstylist for 30mins while he was cutting my hair, he was so cute and gentle..haha...
Every week i'll find one day, mostly on weekend, i'll pamper myself,starting with a long warm shower after waxing, beside washing,i'll do a hair treatment and while waiting for my hair to absorbs the nutrients, i'll do a full body scrub, it is very important for us to scrub away all the dead cells then only our skin can generate more new and healthy cells, and when we apply lotion on it it will absorbs quicker without the dead cells blocking in front of living cells.
Then i'll put on a deep cleansing and firming mask on my face and a nose pack on my nose,afer 15 minutes i'll peel the nose pack off and wash off the mask.Next, i'll put on a whitening mask or moisturising mask, it will absorbs better after deep cleasing.after 20-25 mins. I'll remove the mask and massage the essence into my face.
*This is how i look like when i'm wearing D' MASQUE..haha...so ugly..even mask riders look better than me.
Finally, i'll apply my favourite Daintree lotion on my whole body,massaging the muscles when i'm applying it to enhance new cells growth via blood circulation.
The whole process will take about 2 hours. Due to a low budget restriction, i cant go out to get a full body treatment. Hope that when i start to work i'll be able to.
Cause by loving and pampering myself like that, it gives me a total relaxation, thinking of nothing else except myself.
self discipline is a very very very very had thing.. indeed it is the hardest thing to me... whatever i plan for myself, i'll screw it up, i'll always wake up 15 mins later, study less than i plan, spend more than i plan, and etc....
why? why i'll be like that? when i see others with a very good self discipline, it makes me feels sad and then keep on blaming myself why do i hv this kinda habit? and in the end i wont change at all... i cant..
still..trying to figure out ways to change... cos i know if i dun change 1 day it will affect my work performance, which i would never allowed it to happen.
working full day 2moro, plan to spend just RM1 for parking. i can make it.
