Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I lost control!!!!!!

One of my tutorial classes had changed its time due to the students are always sleepy in class ( which was scheduled on mon and thursday 4pm).
Their father discussed with me about the new tutorial time during the monday class, and for this week i hv to teach them on Wed instead of thursday..

Maybe a lot of things happened recently until i totally forgotten about it, even though i've written it down on my diary.
Then around 4:20, the father called and reminded me about the tution, i was shocked until i jumped out of my chair and uttered
"SHIT"......and the father remained silence for 2 sec....
so embarassing....
i feel like wana bury myself within that few minutes...
as a TEACHER how can i SWEAR in front of my student's parent????????????
And i dun even allow my student to swear the same word in front of me..
What i bad image had i given to the parent.
What a bad example i am to my students.

I never lose control of my emotion in front of my customer,
Haiz...really pai seh tao~~~hope the father wont fire me bcos of that....=.=


These few weeks really lots of things happened,
Within these 2 months i've been visiting hospital more than i visit shopping malls,
Today my uncle was discharged but my grams was admitted
Everything seems going on the wrong way,
but no matter what, life goes on.
I can see that mummy and auntie are very worried and scared about grams,
I bet she herself too are scared to lose her toe,
For me, maybe i'm too immune to have any feeling or maybe i already locked myself from feeling depressed over this kinda things.

I had enough of worrying and frighthening and sleepless night when i know that i'm goin to hv 2 uncles that will never recover from their sickness and that they might be my largest burden in future.

So I guess I've used up all my quotas when i was 18,19 or 20....
What i know now is saddess wont ease any pain nor make ur new tougher life easier
I've grown to be stronger day by day.

I'll just do what i need to do when i need to do it,
When they are sick i need to take good care of them,
without thinking about anything but just..
hope that they can get well soon..

All this while the only thing that i can do is hope,
Maybe thats the reason why religions exist,
Cause hope is the only thing that keep us moving,
and always hoping for a better tomorrow,
i always tell myself, maybe i'll get a better life when i reach 30's or 40's..
just keep on hoping cause u'll never know how the future shapes itself

Ohhh...i made my life sounds more pathetic than it does... >.<
Huh...better stop here... ^_^

Hope that my ah ma can be as healthy as she used to be in no time


blue3y3 said...

girl, dont give up...
cheers... things will go right, dont worry... wish ur grandma will get well soon... and also all your family will stay healthy forever... and u too, take care. ok? dont fall down~!!
be strong~~ ^^

VoNnE said...

sure..tq for ur support..u 2..

紫儇 said...